Well since this page is entitled 'Love & Life", I suppose that I should talk about both of those things. The guy that is in the middle of the page is my heartthrob Dennis. He and I have been together for a year now and I think that things are finally starting to look like they are going in the FORWARD motion. I am glad for that really.. He and I have been through a lot together, mostly just dealing with one another, but I think and hope that all this pays off in the end. I would hope that he would feel the same way.

I met him at school (AID) and he has helped me through some REALLY tough times expecially just dealing with stuff that I have pushed way down deep inside myself hoping would never return. Ya see, I have had my share of abusive people in my life and pray that someday, I will be able to tell the difference between being abused and allowing abuse to happen to me. I mean ALL types of abuse: psychological as well as physical. I can pretty much guess out the physical type, but I don't always know when I am being taken advantage of.. abused in a sense. I am very trusting and more than likely to turn the other cheek to be used again and again. He is trying to stop that mental rollercoaster that I have been on for so many years, but sometimes because of my 'conditioning' from all the abuse, I don't always want him to 'fix' me like that.. I just want him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright.. Kinda like that Sean Mullins song "Lullabye". Everything's gonna be alright..Rock-a-bye. I know that his intetions are good, but not always wanted. Anyway, I love him, eventhough sometimes I question how much mearly because of the whole 'fixing' thing. I want him closer, but I don't know how to get him there. He isn't ready for that kind of a thing with a girl, and to be honest, I don't think that he would know how to act in something like that anyway. I am what you would call 'CO-DEPENDENT'.. Well, to a point anyway. I am a TEXTBOOK CANCER and they tend to sway that way any way. I wanna be held a lot and talked to like they understand my world. I wanna be treated like they are a part of me, like they complete me.. I understand now what that meant when I heard it in that 'Jerry Macguire' movie. I want someone that will complete me, fill in the holes that I have and be there for me, because I am a VERY emotional female. I know that I am and for some guys, that is a pain in their ass and for some others it is a blessing. I guess that I need to find out where he stands on that exactly. I don't wanna go unforfilled in a relationship, expecially one that has lasted THIS long and has gone through so much in such a short time. Something to think about I guess.

Family and friends? Well, right now I am going through a transition period with some of my ex/friends. I am still trying to find a way to be happy with myself and be able to get through some of the abusive people in my life that I have considered friends for a LONG time.. As well as try and raise my baby girl to my own standards despite the what others tell me. Despite what my parents and others try to say is the correct way to raise her. I believe that raising a child should be as personalized as a thumbprint and just as easy to understand it's usage. You and the child are the only ones that are going to benifit (or not, depending) from the style that you choose to use. She is MY baby and I will teach her what I think she needs to know in life and I will teach her however I see fit to teach it. I used to be very wishy washy with the way that I treated her.. I would sometimes punish her and sometimes not, mostly because I know what it is like to be repromanded over and over again.. not for the same offense mind you, but I get it. Okay, off that rant mister. Jinger, my sister, will be getting married this next May and I am totaly happy for her. She and Brian have been together coming up 8 years now and I personally think this is OVERDUE, but they have made it this long and everything seems to be fine, so good for her.

Otherwise than that, I think that all is beautiful and good.